My Daily 86 Words

  Beautiful morning after a long sleep. I’m ready for a good day with outside activity including a walk. I watched a lot of the trial and it is riveting. Today I’ll catch bits and that’s enough. I had a long and enjoyable phone conversation with Rosalie with plans for a lunch in the park next week. She is covaxed too and not ready for any public crowd. A sandwich and a pint of beer with Karen too will be a treat. March going out like a lamb.

  Improvement on the wellness scale and ready for more.   Hollie and I planted squash seeds in anticipation of our future crop. The greenhouse is almost ready for occupancy. It will house tomatoes, peppers, kale and lettuce. Today if the wind isn’t as strong we will clean the raised bed for the squash babies. I want to connect with Rosalie. Haven’t heard from her for a week. I’ve been watching the trial and found it interesting. The whole thing will be on TV. The police look culpable.

  I enjoyed my part of the church service and did it with no stress. The zoom is well managed and everyone knows what to do. The rest of the day was flat and I don’t   know why. My energy is non-existent.   The wind is up already and that makes it difficult to enjoy outside. Chuck will finish the greenhouses today and we can move in with our baby plants and containers. Hollie is in Brookings and she will shop for more plantings. I want to play.

  No vigor. No nothing, again. I wish I would just get well from whatever this is. I’m tired of it and can’t find a fix. Yesterday I zoomed with Kelle and practiced mute and unmute for the passion play at church today. I want to do it well. I may even put on lipstick and fix my hair. Chuck will finish the remodel on the greenhouse and we can   plant the babies we got at the farm. Oh boy, farming has started. I enjoy it muchly.

  No walk. Some weeding. Had to admit that I didn’t feel energetic but improved. Hollie went to Mexican food for dinner. Once in a while it’s fun to eat someone else’s cooking. Today is starting well and I’m hoping for a good day. First, farm stand for fresh produce and for vegetable starts. The greenhouse is expanded and will be ready for growing. I like the changes that Chuck made. I want to do more today. The weather calls and I’d like to answer with vigor.

  Still feeling low. Sinus headache and dripping nose and goopy eyes. Today I hope to get outside if the wind isn’t so strong and   cold. Hollie made snacks from her new air fryer for family hour and it was a hit. The potatoes and zucchini were delicious. I didn’t like the cheeses sticks. She is going to have fun with trying new things. The plan today is to get the greenhouse ready for planting. Maybe get a brief walk if it’s comfortable. May zoom with Kelle.

  I feel better today. The allergy or whatever symptoms are gone. No drippy nose or icky eyes. No headache. I know the wind will be strong again but maybe I can get out for a while. Yesterday was wasted with unwellness and I had to work hard to get 4K steps. Today will be productive and much more fun. I will reach out and connect. Zooming with Kelle and planning a zoom with Linda Lee. I hope to feel good at the end of the day.

  Big plan for the day: Jake gets his nails cut at noon. Wow. I sure miss having plans. I don’t want to go back to the visitors’ center but I miss having a duty and people. If the museum opens, I will go back. The covid numbers are up and the county may be back in purple. The doctor said at the BOS yesterday that the tourists are here and he is worried. I can’t   understand a road trip during a pandemic. We are safe here.

  Clear and cold but I will go for a walk later when it gets to 50. I want to pull weeds and make plans for my yard. I want color and I can plant marigolds or pansies. Spring is here and my hands want to dig in the dirt. I want more. Its’ a good sign when I realize that the comfort zone has taken my time. The end of the day when I list my gratitude I want more than I sat alone all day.

  I did fine with church. I left the cursor on the hover bar and unmuted at the end to say howdy. I can do okay.   I have speaking parts for Palm Sunday. Took a spill in the rose garden when a   thorn caught my pants and I awkwardly turned and fell on my knees. Both of them are skinned up and sore. Later, we will go to the tractor store for dog food and then a few grocery items. It’s wet so we won’t be out

  It was a good day. After the rain, the sun beamed and I beamed back. Pulled a few weeds and enjoyed the warmth. I walked around the block and want to do that again. I need to restore my self-confidence. Hollie and I sat on the porch and drank a beer. Church this morning and I hope to control the mute. Hollie will help me tomorrow when she zooms with Laurie. No agenda except deep vacuuming. I need to do it regularly to avoid dog fleas.

  Never even peeked out the door yesterday. Rain all day and still raining now. I had lots of text connections and felt okay about the isolation. Today is the first day of spring and it’s also immunity day. We are protected from the covid but will still follow the protocols. Masks may be part of the wardrobe for many months to come. Today I’m hoping Kelle will give me another zoom lesson. I ant to feel confident when I go to church. I want a good day.

  I had an improved day and grateful for it. So, repeat. I feel better when I have a plan even one as simple as getting 250 steps per hour. I made aa great deconstructed Reuben with the left over corned beef, sauerkraut and cheese.   It was delicious even without bread. There may be breaks in the rain and if so, I will prance around the block.   I need to walk on hard surfaces and for extended time to get my stamina back. I can do it.

  Hollie brought the most beautiful plate of corned beef with potatoes, carrots, cabbage, and onions. I jumped right into it before I thought of taking a photo first. It was a treat. Wet and windy morning with no agenda. Probably won’t get a walk. Yesterday the old lady in the mirror said, Nap or walk and I opted for a walk. So glad I did. I need to rebuild my self-confidence and get outside when the weather allows. Today I will move more and eat less.

  It was a good day! I gave myself a pep talk and got to it! First a walk to town to pay a bill, house straightening, and hour on the new computer, reading a chapter, getting steps on the rebounder, and smiling. I know thee symptoms of depression and I also know how to get back on track. Today I’ll pull more weeds and clean out my side of the yard. Lots to do while the sun is shining. I want to go to bed with self-respsect.

  Yesterday was “hitting bottom” day. I was emotionally, mentally, and physically down and out. I cannot continue to live just so time goes by with hours of sitting and staring at TV. How can I emerge from the dullness and get happy again? I know the dive started when I gave up the writing class. I was counting on it to get my mind stimulated and I quit instead. When my mind is busy, the body follows. Today is start-over and I can do it yet again.

  I walked to church with my check and home.   Brief walk.   Felt good. I want my confidence to reemerge. I miss knowing what’s going on in the neighborhood. Today I will push as this sitting all day is having bad effect off my mood and body. I will go to zoom church and sing with the mute button on. Then what? Wind and rain are forecast I don’t want to sink into the comfort zone. Discipline needs to come back. I like myself better when I do better.

  Yesterday was not great except for a visit with Michele and clearing a tiny patch.. She is a special person who brings stories and encouragement.   Long slow day followed by a restless uncomfortable night. I start worrying about useless things like forgetting names and wondering if I’m losing my mind. Probably not unusual at my age but distressing to someone who has a lifetime of independence. Today I’ll concentrate on   things I can control like my appetite and activity. I need a   brief walk.

  I want a productive day. My body shows the long time of sitting both from weather and unwellness. I did move a bit yesterday but not enough to feel satisfied. The best thing was zooming with Hollie and Laurie. Megan and Chuck enjoyed it too. The girls are having a great time and are already planning to do it again in October. I want some dirt time today. I need the therapy that comes with cleaning the yard. I will spend time with the new computer.

  A cold sunny Thursday. Yesterday Chuck asked me to come outside and see a double rainbow. It was beautiful but didn’t come out in a photograph. Hope to get out in the yard and address some weeds. My part of the yard needs attention. It’s Hollie’s 64 th birthday. Megan will come after work and we will zoom with her and Laurie. They are   having a great time In Newport. Chuck moved the raspberry canes to the fence lline. They will thrive there. Lilac is not ready.

  Long talk with Rosalie yesterday and we talked about our careful attention to the rules so that none of us was exposed. I hope I have worn out the reaction as I want my energy back. House needs work and he fatigue can go. I want to at least walk around the yard. This would have been the first writing class and I’m glad I opted out. My stress disappeared when I said NO. It may have been the last opportunity and I have done enough.

  Cold and wet. My blog book arrived yesterday and I reread the early posts. I was naïve about the state of the world. I thought a couple of weeks of “virus scare” and we would move along. I watched news and waited for it to be over. And 2020 will need a whole chapter in future history books with the politics and protests. So here we are a quarter of a year into 2021 and nothing much has changed.    Being immunized will soon make a difference.

  I bragged too soon. Sunday was achy joints, foggy brain and deep fatigue. I countered with naps and ten hours in bed. Today I’m fine again. Hollie has gone to Newport to spend the week with Laurie. Chuck and I will fend for ourselves. She left us with ample supplies. She roasted a chicken for each of us. I have green stuff and protein and that’s all I need. Rain is forecast again so the day will be inside and I know how to do that.

  One year ago today I worked for the last time at the visitors’ center. They were surprised that Ii showed up as the closing was already in progress. Today we get our second covid vax. There are reports that people feel sick for a while afterward. We are planning a quiet day anyway. First we are going to the farm stand for fresh produce. Hollie wants to take some with her on her trip. Found another series on Netflix to binge. The Ksomsething method. Can’t remember.

  Stormy   noisy night. Restless sleep. Woke up to a problem with my new computer. Doesn’t make me feel confident about using it. Today I will catch up on   housework that includes the closet. I have drawers that I still haven’t sorted. It will just take a few minutes as I don’t have many items there. Really cut back when I moved. Next on the agenda, stay away from snacking. I’m growing a belly from no exercise and too much food. Invited Kelle for a zoom meeting.

Back from grocery shopping. Fresh goods put away and ready for an indoor day. The wind is cold and howling. I’ll cruise through Netflix looking for another engaging series like Heartland was. I enjoyed the family and the scenery as it was simple and non-political. I’m not regretting dumping the class. I am regretting that I won’t get tp present my processes but I just can’t get my head around zooming as the teacher. That may have been my last opportunity. Maybe I have done en

  I withdrew from teaching the writing class. Too much stress over the zooming.   It’s asking too much and triggered my anxiety about not knowing what to do. Rosalie agreed that I was not treated well or supported.. Cold morning with sun and the promise of pulling kale for the compost bin. It’s all gone to seed. I’m looking forward to our new crop. Rosalie and I also talked about regrouping Tea and Stories. We miss our sharing. I’m going to inquire about using the church hall.

  JuJu had a flea and the vet said she most likely is allergic and that causes the frantic itching and scratching. I was surprised as I have combed her and never found a flea. He gave us a product to stop any further fleas. I hope it calms her down. Rosalie is coming to visit and walk around the block this afternoon. First I will make a solo zoom with Kelle. Hollie will hover   but I need to do it myself. The sun is calling me.

  Ten hours in bed made a positive difference to my tired mind. Church was stressful as I learn zoom and where the buttons are. I got warm greetings and a prayer.. It was fun to see faces and hear voices. This afternoon Hollie and I are going to practice zooming with Laurie so they can zoom with Chuck and me on their vacation next week. First thing is a trip to take JuJu to the vet to get advice about her constant itching and scratching herself.